Women often enter into a relationship with a married man, the advice of a psychologist will help you safely get out of this situation with the least loss. Whether the partner agrees to play a secondary role for years or is she hoping that the chosen one will build a new family with her - the lady will decide. The main thing is to maintain peace of mind and a sober head.

Why a married man has a relationship outside of marriage

Of course, this may be “that one love”, but more often than not, a married man makes contact on the side, because not everything satisfies him in marriage.

This can happen quite quickly after the wedding. For example, a child appeared in the family, the wife devotes all the time to the baby, and the husband feels abandoned. In such a case, he will seek a connection on the side so that sex and romance return to life. He will perceive his betrayal to his wife as a temporary phenomenon.

But usually he seeks to establish a relationship with another man after he has been married for many years. There can be various reasons for the appearance of such a connection. At home, everything is so familiar, familiar, moving, as they say, on a knurled road. With his wife, they no longer feel like a man and a woman, but "deep relatives".

One husband doesn’t have enough sex in a marriage, the second one doesn’t have good trust. The third would like to feel like the head of the family, but in fact is "under the heel of his wife." The fourth believes that the household needs only money from him. Well, for some it seems that years are rapidly flying, and something is missing in life. So why not fill in the gaps?

Sometimes, entering into a relationship with a married man, a woman can be guided by practical considerations. The main thing for her is material support, and if the lover provides her, then everything is fine. Things are more complicated when a woman is passionate, and she desires that the man certainly belong only to her.

Building relationships in the status of a lover

Such relationships are unstable from the very beginning. After all, nothing connects partners in them. According to studies, the vast majority - up to 90% of men - in such a situation retain marriage. But still there are times when they dissolve the marriage and formalize the relationship with a new girlfriend.

How should a woman who is in the status of a lover behave:

  1. It is possible to tie the beloved man the most, building trusting relationships with him. Encourage him to be frank, become an attentive and interested listener. Let him talk about anything - about his childhood, hobbies or past working day - the main thing is that he opens before you.
  2. As a rule, mother is a great authority for the stronger sex. Ask him about her, admire her, emphasize respect for the mother of the chosen one. This will play into the hands, especially if the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is not too good.
  3. Do not be too demanding and moody. From a meeting with his mistress, a man expects a holiday, if he meets recently, rest and relaxation - when the relationship is long-lasting. Stormy scenes with tears in raised tones will become an unnecessary reason for the termination of relations.
  4. It is advisable not to criticize the wife of her lover. After all, once he chose her, he had certain feelings. Speaking of the second half of a friend’s unpleasant things, you question the taste of men.
  5. Do not talk about your connection with friends, colleagues, relatives. Yes, this is a rather humiliating position for a woman, but a man must decide on the "legalization" of your relationship. Otherwise, put him and yourself in a very awkward position, if everything is revealed, and the lover is not yet ready to leave the family.

The main thing to learn, being in the role of a lover of a not free person, is patience.

How to end a relationship with a married man

Sadly, you should always be prepared for such a finale. Relations can be broken by either side. In one case, a man will return to his family, in another, a woman will decide that she is not going to stay in such a dubious role forever and ever.

Short term

Short-term relationships are easier to break, even if love for some period "burned with a bright flame." It could be a resort romance, an accidental meeting during a business trip, an unexpected attraction to some man. Perhaps the lady did not even suspect that the lover was married, and he admitted this already ex post.

So - to part with a married man is necessary. What to do?

  1. Relationships are better to break off sharply. Let him know that your connection will not be continued, or just leave in English without saying goodbye.
  2. Think of what happened as a beautiful episode. Thank fate for him, return to your usual life.
  3. If your own days seem empty and bleak to you, think about how to fill them. Maybe it will be a trip, a job change, an interesting hobby. Let the break with the lover play a positive role in the future.
  4. You made this connection because in reality something was missing. Try to understand where it was formed and what should fill the vital "void"? If you are single and dream of a family, consider other options to find a decent candidate.
  5. Ask friends to introduce a suitable person, contact the dating service.

Finishing a relationship with a married man means freeing up space for someone who makes you happy.

Long lasting

In this case, the gap is experienced more difficult.After all, a woman gave her lover years, he became part of her life. It seems that everything, including the future, is flying downhill.

How to proceed:

  1. Leaving - leave. Try not only not to call, not write, but also not to look for meetings - to avoid those places where you could see a former fan. Especially often, the desire to dial a familiar number appears under the influence of drunk alcohol. Keep this in mind so that, due to a momentary rush, you do not return to the starting position.
  2. Think of parting as a fact, come to terms with its inevitability. Only then will you find peace. The desire to take revenge on a lover or his wife means one thing - you have not “let go” of the situation and continue to cook in the cauldron of your own experiences.
  3. If there is an opportunity to change the situation even for a short while, take a moment, leave even for a short time. In another city among strangers it will become easier to think over the current state of affairs and establish itself in the decision.
  4. Begin to fill that gaping gap in your soul, which was formed after a break with a loved one. New friends, vivid impressions of books, films, travels, hobby classes - all this will help to survive the crisis period.
  5. Perhaps someone will be comforted by the idea that if a lover cheated on his wife, then their relationship is far from cloudless, and after some time he will again begin to look for a connection on the side. Would you like such a spouse?

A long relationship with a married man is a trap. In most cases, such a relationship takes away the years that a girl could live happily.

Psychologist's advice for a free woman

The percentage of men who abandon a family because of a lover is small. But with the right behavior, the lady will be able to ensure that her friend leaves his wife and goes to her lover.

What do I need to do:

  1. Let a man experience only positive emotions during close encounters. Be the way he wants to see you. Grip your teeth and wait.
  2. Try to be active in sex, make sure to always look attractive.
  3. Do not divulge your relationship. If something goes wrong, don’t cry on your girlfriend’s shoulder. Entrust your feelings to a piece of paper, which you then destroy, or consult a psychologist. The connection, which from a secret, suddenly becomes apparent, can lead to the opposite result. Under pressure from his wife, relatives and friends, a man will make a choice in favor of the family.
  4. Unobtrusively, from time to time, let your beloved know that he may lose you. Do not blackmail, but casually throw phrases with a hint, talk about a possible move to another city, about a journey that you are going to make ostensibly in solitude. Just “joke” about a colleague who is interested in you. Men are owners, in them there is a strong desire to maintain their positions.

Recommendations of specialists for married

As a rule, in such relations, lovers are for each other a kind of outlet and are not going to destroy their families.

For a man - an attractive situation, since the subject of a new passion does not require much, does not threaten to tell about the relationship to his spouse.

What gives the appearance of a lover to a married woman:

  1. Perhaps a surge of emotions that she is experiencing will arouse her husband's interest in her. Especially when the wife suddenly begins to intensely monitor herself. With a certain stock of character, a woman can maintain such a relationship with her lover for a long time, while enjoying family life.
  2. Another lady begins to feel guilty before her husband and children, or "remorse" in relation to the lover's family. In this case, the connection does not bring positive emotions, it is better to stop it. Consult a psychologist if you are a believer, go to confession, and then break off the relationship.
  3. Sometimes, a woman begins to hesitate, reflect on what to prefer? If you are not sure about the feelings, you should not destroy yours and your family fan. Many people can be hurt, and their own happiness cannot be built.

Possible consequences of forbidden communication

Such relationships often lead to the following options for developing relationships:

  • marriage breaks up - a man marries a lover. This is rare, but it does happen;
  • a man maintains a relationship while they bring positive emotions. If at the same time there is a threat to the family, he leaves his girlfriend;
  • communication lasts for years, a man, in fact, has a second family.

The least traumatic for a woman is the following option. He and his lover are mature people, each has its own rich interesting life. They are located in different cities, occur 2-3 times a year. Such dates turn into a holiday, but neither he nor she is going to change their habits and foundations.

In most cases, a woman who has entered into a forbidden relationship begins to feel humiliated over time, cannot make any plans, she has to spend holidays and vacations alone. Instead of being proud of his girlfriend, the lover will carefully hide their relationship. Make sure that her thing is not lost in the car, and the “heart” from the lipstick does not appear on the clothes or the perfume is not left.

Let him say anything about his wife, convincing his partner that he has long ceased to love, just sick, sorry to leave, and the family does not break up just because of the children. Do not believe it! Anyway, you will feel that the spouse is in the first place for him. And it will cause constant pain.

If you decide to maintain a relationship with a married man - do not make him the center of your life. Let this connection not go beyond sex. If you feel that your lover is becoming more expensive with each meeting, break off your relationship until it is too late.

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