The crises of family life by year, the psychology of which is different for each couple, still have similar features and causes. Having dealt with them, you can find a worthy way out of this situation and maintain relations even in a hopeless situation.

Causes of Family Life Crises

The crisis in family life is a natural phenomenon that absolutely all couples face.

Life is multifaceted, and relationships between loved ones can change and experience periods of ups and downs. Many reasons can cause confusion in the family. The correct approach to solving the problem and understanding it in the right way can strengthen relations and take them to a new level.

The most common causes of crises:

  • Age crises of spouses. Both husband and wife can have tipping points, characterized by a review of existing values. At such a time, people ask themselves whether their life is going right, whether it is worth continuing in the old mode. There is a desire to change yourself and your family relationships.
  • The crisis of family expansion. This is about children. This period is characterized by similar periods that occur before and after the birth of a child, his admission to school, etc. Disagreements may arise between spouses due to a rapid change in their usual way of life.
  • Job loss. The difficult period of time associated with lack of money is manifested by an increase in quarrels and quarrels. A person who has lost his job, as a rule, experiences this period especially hard.
  • Conflicts of generations.Disagreements with older relatives most strongly affect family life when two families live under the same roof.
  • Severe illnesses of loved ones that add additional difficulties and worries to everyday life.
  • The birth of a child with severe ailments can generate mutual reproaches and misunderstanding.
  • Lack of tolerance in the family. A situation is widespread in which the husband reproaches the wife, who is exclusively engaged in housekeeping.
  • Lack of psychological support between family members.
  • Early marriage. Young people who are not ready for joint relationships in everyday life may face a crisis in family life.
  • The difference in interests and outlook on life. Love smooths out all shortcomings, but it is worth the passion fade away a little, as inconsistencies in the needs and values ​​of the spouses are manifested.

Any of these reasons can be a reason for breaking family relationships. But at the same time, a way out of each situation can be found that will bring the couple closer and help save the marriage.

Views and features

There are two types of family crises: regulatory and non-regulatory. Their difference in the features of occurrence.

Almost all couples pass through the first with rare exceptions. They are associated with the most ordinary periods in the life of each of the spouses.

These include:

  • The crisis of the first year of relations. Lapping is carried out to new living conditions.
  • The crisis of 3 years. It coincides with the fading of love and the appearance of the first-born in the family.
  • The crisis of 5 years of family life. Along with the decline in sensory attraction, boredom and everyday life appear between spouses.
  • 7 years after marriage. Life is adjusted, roles are distributed. No need to try anymore? Spouses have a craving for the search for new, previously unexplored impressions.
  • The crisis of 10 years of marriage. It is associated with a midlife crisis in both sexes and a transitional period for older children.
  • The marriage crisis is 16 years old. The figure is conditional. Problems in a couple can appear in the period from 15 to 20 years of marriage. Children become independent, they have to learn to live together again. At the same time, a large part of life has been passed, questions arise about the correctness of the chosen path.

Non-normative crises arise in the family with sudden adverse changes in life. These may include the death of one of your loved ones, domestic violence, treason, etc.

The second group of disagreements in the family is much more complicated than the first, it requires a certain overcoming. However, in any situation, you can try to find a common language and build relationships.

Characteristic manifestations of the family crisis:

  1. Lack of common interests. Along with falling in love, admiration for the spouse also ends. Silences begin to appear, the partner is perceived as the same as many other people. Its uniqueness is lost on weekdays.
  2. Indifference to intimacy.
  3. The emergence of contention due to differences of opinion and unwillingness to find a common language.
  4. Emotional detachment. Partners stop revealing to each other their emotional experiences.
  5. Extremes such as constant quarrels or lack of disagreement per se. The second happens more often during the dictatorship of one of the spouses.

Only a benevolent and respectful relationship between a wife and a husband can overcome all manifestations of crises.

How to overcome disagreements, advice of psychologists

Any disagreement can be dealt with. A prerequisite for this is only an awareness of such a need for both parties to the conflict.

Together, the family crisis can turn into a new flowering of feelings and raise relationships to a new, higher level. Couples who have managed to maintain love and marriage receive a pleasant bonus in the future in the form of greater cohesion and mutual respect.

Relationship crisis in the first year of family life

The first year of family life is characterized by the distribution of roles in a new unit of society.People learn to live together and build a common life. This period is difficult, but love is still very strong. It is it that allows about half of the new cells of society to survive this time without loss of mutual respect.

In this case, you can advise the following:

  1. No need to put ultimatums to spouse. They will not solve the problem, but only drive it deeper into the subconscious. The phrase: “if you don’t stop sitting at the computer, I won’t cook dinner!” Will bring only discontent.
  2. Do not respond to the same threats and support them. In a fit of anger, it is so tempting to answer affirmatively about a divorce offer. If the intention is not realized, what has been said will come up in the subconscious for a long time. This will undermine the relationship in the future.
  3. There is no need to keep discontent and resentment. It is much more constructive to share with your spouse and together find ways out of this situation that would suit both sides. If it is impossible to reach consensus, then it is permissible to change one’s attitude to the situation.

Clashes will inevitably arise between people who start cohabitation, this is the so-called period of “grinding in” to each other. It is most reasonable to try to survive this period, keeping in your heart a love for your spouse and awareness of the importance and inevitability of living together.

3 years married

3 years of family life are difficult for a couple for two main reasons.

The first of these is the birth of a child. Life in a couple is changing dramatically. A woman switches her focus to the baby. A man feels unnecessary, and even worries about the material support of the family are added.

The second reason is the silence of love. Hormones that maintain feelings for a long time stop being produced. The "pink glasses" disappear. The partner no longer seems ideal, and his shortcomings are painted in new colors and seem significant.

Psychologists advice on overcoming the crisis of three years of marriage:

  1. Search for compromises. It is necessary to identify all the annoying factors in the behavior of partners and find a common alternative to living together. And also it is worth understanding that there are no ideal people. All have their drawbacks and advantages, so a change of spouse will not solve the problem with irritability in everyday life.
  2. Open discussion of sensitive issues. Do not hush up discontent and hide resentment in yourself. This will not benefit any of the spouses. In this case, it is not necessary to translate the dialogue about the issue into an ordinary quarrel. The conversation should be in a warm, friendly tone.
  3. Distribution of marital time. After giving birth, you need to learn how to set aside time for joint lessons in private. It can be only 15 minutes in a relaxed home environment at a time when the children are already sleeping. A one-hour hike to the restaurant and a romantic dinner are possible. The main thing in this business is regularity.

Each couple is able to overcome the crisis of 3 years, it is only necessary to show patience and understanding for the partner. The reward will be a new round of love, which may be devoid of past passion, but it is filled with deeper respect and warmth.

How to overcome after 7 years of marriage

The crisis of 7 years of marriage is marked by a large number of divorces. Children grow up, life is adjusted ... But it is here that the main problem of this period lies.

Spouses have a moment when relationships seem monotonous and boring. There is a craving for novelty. Dimension is no longer attractive.

Relationship Tips:

  1. First of all, you need to talk. Express your opinion about the problems, do not hush them up. Moreover, conversations should not be conducted unilaterally. We need a dialogue, and most importantly, we should hear a partner.
  2. To diversify life and life. Perhaps new joint forms of leisure will be useful. A trip to rest in an exotic country or just to nature can bring romance and love to an established relationship.
  3. Setting a common goal, which is interesting and useful for both spouses, is able to rally and tune in to a common wave.
  4. Do not forget about the need to provide each partner with personal time, which he can spend as he pleases.
  5. Rest from each other. Being together together in and of itself can cause crisis and misunderstanding.
  6. Memories of romantic moments experienced with a partner will help to refresh the memory of how it all began in order to penetrate the spirit of love and affection.

Having survived the crisis for 7 years, the family will become even stronger than before. Perhaps even the appearance of a second round of love. The main thing is to try and also to know that the family has a fundamental place in the life of every person.

Family crisis 10 years

A feature of the crisis that occurs after 10 years of family life is that it coincides with the crisis of the middle age of the wife or husband, or maybe both of them.

Most people in this period try to rethink their own lives. After all, most of it has already been completed. There is a temptation to change everything, and then there is a boring relationship that does not please with its novelty.

This also adds to the period of transitional age in older children, as well as changes in the financial situation of the family, both in the direction of deterioration and in the direction of improvement.

Tips for overcoming the crisis:

  1. Defining roles in marriage. This stage is considered completed in the first years of marriage. However, there is a situation where a woman takes on a lot of worries that lead to permanent fatigue. Maybe it's time to redistribute responsibilities? This will bring to the common life of all family members.
  2. Forgiving is an important part of a successful relationship. Long-standing grievances will not go anywhere if they are silenced and all contradictions are not resolved.
  3. A joint pastime will make it possible to rally the marriage and add notes of warmth to it. Everyone has their own hobby, and both spouses should have time to do it. But joint conversations and relaxation are simply necessary.
  4. A heart-to-heart talk in which neither wife nor husband should hush up feelings. Only by discussing problems and together trying to find a way out of them, you can maintain mutual understanding.
  5. No need to infringe on the needs of the partner. We are all human, and each has its own weaknesses and passions. If they are in a zone of general comfort, they must be satisfied and encouraged.

Overcoming the crisis of 10 years of family life will finally bring the family together. Most disagreements will remain in the past and the time will come for a careful and thoughtful relationship between partners.

Relationship crisis prevention

Any quarrels are easier to resolve on time than to then deal with their consequences.

In the hands of the spouses there are powerful tools that will prevent the emergence of crisis moments in the family and will make the couple's life more harmonious:

  1. The opinion and dignity of the husband and wife should be raised to the highest value. Of course, fanaticism is inappropriate here and a similar initiative should come from both spouses.
  2. Mutual respect and recognition of partner needs.
  3. Minimum criticism. Ideal people do not exist, each person has his own small or big flaws. Irritability and intolerance cannot fix anyone.
  4. Productive conversations. It is necessary not only to listen to a partner, but also to be able to hear him.
  5. Conflict resolution. Often, the course of a quarrel between a man and a woman is affected by the emotional states of both. However, it is enough to abandon the negative and find out the immediate cause that led to the dispute. It is worth discussing it. No need to focus on emotions.
  6. Control of negative emotions. All people are prone to decadent moods from time to time. Partner support is especially important at such times. No need to respond negatively to any insult.
  7. Ability to forgive and ask for forgiveness.These beneficial qualities have preserved many marriages.
  8. Requests for help. Do not be shy to ask for help. This is not a sign of weakness. That is how trust can be shown.
  9. Maximum joy and attention. Nice gifts, romantic meetings. This and much more will allow you to accumulate an impressive baggage of love and warmth, which will help in a crisis situation and will not allow it to be allowed.

Warmth and attentiveness to a partner is the key to a long happy relationship. In the family, everything is at the same time, so in difficult moments you need to stand on one side of the barricade. It is support and respect that can help in a critical situation and preserve love and tenderness in a relationship.

Every family that manages to go through a crisis will become stronger and stronger. Negative moments make it possible to aggravate existing problems and find their solution in order to confidently move on hand in hand.

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