How to forget your loved one - three simple steps, the advice of a psychologist

Mutual eternal love is the ultimate dream of many people around the planet. Of course, each couple is confident that their relationship is once and for all. Unfortunately, in real life, couples break up and people break up. In such cases, former partners are often worried about the question - how to forget your loved one?

Techniques with which you can forget your loved one

To break out of captivity of obsessive memories and forget past relationships will help several effective techniques:

1. Let go. First of all, we should accept the fait accompli that the partners broke up. To do this, it is useful to remember, rethink and reproduce in thoughts every moment of the moment of separation, and in the end to realize what has happened. In order for the methodology to become more effective, psychologists recommend writing out all the negative aspects of the former lover on a piece of paper. This includes various actions, habits, character traits, etc. Thus, you can gradually kill all the desire to remember the former lover. Personal items and ex-passion items are best thrown away or hidden away. It will also be useful to remove all contacts from the phone book and social networks in order to avoid the temptation to contact the object of your thoughts.
2. To change. To radically change your present, and subsequently the future, to change for the better is a very real task.You can start with the following actions: change your makeup or hairstyle; try a new style in clothes; purchase a gym membership; change living conditions, the area of ​​the city, or even the city itself (of course, if possible).
3. Start a new relationship. Such advice should not be regarded solely in terms of seeking new love. First of all, it is worth paying attention to former acquaintances, who, perhaps, during the previous relationship were undeservedly forgotten. Also, one should not narrow down one’s social circle, it’s best to go out, meet new people, and expand one’s interests. It is possible that new friends later become an indirect cause of a promising romantic meeting.

How long does it take to stop loving

How long does it take to leave the former love in the past? The answer to this question is purely individual - someone will need more time, someone less.

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Nevertheless, scientists, relying on numerous calculations and polls, found that the minimum time required to acquire relative peace is half of the time that people were together.

In other words, if the union lasted 6 years, then it will take 3 years to heal the mental wounds. It is believed that after this time a person will again have a desire to change something in his life and find a new love.

Three easy steps to forget the person you love

How to forget a former lover? It is enough to take three simple steps to a new life without a past.

First step

Do not remember. As already mentioned, all physical reminders of the former lover should be deleted (gifts, photos, contacts). You should also plan for specific dates that were important in the past. For example, if the anniversary of a former relationship is approaching, it is useful to plan a vacation or a meeting with friends for this time. Thus, you can isolate yourself from thoughts about spending time with your former beloved. The same goes for your habits. If the ex-couple planned to watch movies together on Tuesdays, these days you should organize a party or go to interesting exhibitions, courses.

Second step

New hobbies. Nothing distracts from obsessive thoughts as much as vigorous activity. Even if a person does not have certain talents, this does not prevent him from finding a new hobby or hobby. Cross-stitching, joining interest groups, attending various courses - there are many ideas for a new start.

Third step

Draw conclusions and live on. Any relationship is a kind of experience that can help in the future. Upon reflection, we can conclude that the former partner played an important role in the development of man as a person. At the same time, it is most difficult to maintain faith in a brighter future and not to wallow in negative emotions. We must strive for positive thinking with all our might, the main thing is not to blame the former partner for the breakup.

Also, one should not discuss former love, talking about it is bad in the presence of other people. This negatively affects others and does not bring anything good. It is best to find a person with whom you can talk heart to heart. It can be a psychologist, a family member, friend. Discussion will help ease stress, restore self-esteem, and provide an opportunity to get good advice.

Can a new relationship help

It would seem simpler - a new love kills an old one. The small thing is to find a suitable object of sympathy, fall in love again, and in one fell swoop forget the person you love. But, as practice shows, usually nothing good comes from such aspirations.

Firstly, one should not underestimate one's self-esteem by feverishly searching for a new, precisely “that” person in the first girl or boyfriend who has come across. It is simply unworthy.

Secondly, no matter how strange it may sound, the first time after parting is to accept your loneliness.It is clear that after the break, a person feels abandoned and unnecessary. For this reason, there is an acute desire to meet someone to eliminate this aching sense of emptiness. As a result, one can not only aggravate the situation for oneself, but also spoil the nerves and mood of another, innocent person. In such cases, it’s useful to be alone for a while. It is possible that it was during this period that a person would rethink a lot and draw useful conclusions.

Of course, the advice given is by no means a guide to action, but rather practical conclusions. Cases of successful relationships built immediately after the breakdown of previous ties are by no means uncommon. The main thing is to listen to your feelings and not play with the feelings of other people.

Advice from experienced psychologists

To help break all ties with the past and erase thoughts of past love from a psychologist’s advice:

1. Do not try to think through the situation from the point of view of the former partner. No need to exert force to understand - what is happening to him now, what thoughts are his head occupied with? Every effort should be made to gain complete calm and indifference towards the present life of the former beloved.
2. No need to blame yourself for breaking up. What happened has already happened. Attempts to find your mistakes and “shoals” is, in general, not bad - it will help to avoid them in the future. But you should not focus on them and focus on them - all this is left in the past, as well as relationships.
3. Often, people who survive the breakup go to extremes and begin to think like "They are all the same." Typically, such people begin to look in others for confirmation of their speculation. We should not forget that thoughts are material and similar attitudes will attract similar negative people to a person. Of course, this is unlikely that a normal person would wish for himself. For this reason, you should stop cutting others under one comb. It is better to concentrate all your thoughts on getting rid of negativity and obsessive thoughts about the past.
4. Look at the problem philosophically. Nothing lasts forever - man is born alone and leaves this world alone. Life is a kind of slide - alternating ups and downs. At the moment, a person is sad, but this is not the end of his life, and fate will surely pamper him with a wonderful gift more than once. Awareness of this usually eases the mental torment of forgetting.
5. You should not close your soul to others. The severance of old relations does not mean the impossibility of building them in the future. When meeting new people, you should try to be open and close to them, getting the most out of communication.
6. If a person’s goal is to search for a new partner, in no case should he be compared with the previous one. Each person is unique, do not forget about it. It is not necessary to look in each new acquaintance for the same characteristics that distinguished the former lover. A new person is not a replacement for the former and not a screen for covering pain.
7. You should not go to extremes, make mistakes and create problems. In the abuse of alcohol and other heavy substances, as well as in spontaneous random relationships, there is absolutely no sense or benefit.

What can not be done after parting

The things listed below should not be categorically done after parting:

1. Make hasty decisions immediately after a break. After the separation of a person, the strongest, sometimes completely contradictory emotions can overflow. All major decisions should be understood on a "cold head", soundly weighing their capabilities. The list of such “impossible” includes: a demonstrative beginning of a relationship with one of the former’s friends in order to take revenge; damage to the property of the former lover or interfere with the construction of his new relationship; gossip spread about him.
2. To keep silent about the illegal actions applied by the former partner.In the event that violence has occurred on the part of the ex-lover, a person can and should report this to the appropriate authorities.
3. To be shy or afraid of seeking professional support. A visit to a psychologist or psychotherapist in modern society is stigmatized, if not disgraceful, then at least perplexing. Nevertheless, millions of people around the world solve their problems in exactly this way.

Forever forgetting your beloved after parting is a task, sometimes seeming impossible. Nevertheless, time, positive thinking and faith in better times can do real miracles. The main thing is to try with all our might not to focus on the problem and continue to live life to the fullest.